Warning: Improbable Island contains rancid midget brothels in addition to other silly (but mature) situations, and is best suited to equally silly grown-ups. Parental discretion is advised.
Returning players, come on in!
Oh, hello!
Improbable Island is a free multiplayer text-adventure game that you play in your browser. It's all about a machine that generates Improbability. Since the machine has gone crazy and started to generate Improbability in highly improbable ways, it must be stopped before it turns the world into a lemon. That's where you come in!
Improbable Island was born out of a desire for a free browser-based adventure game with a sense of humour. There are scads of browser-based MMORPG's and PBBG's out there on the Internet, but most take themselves terribly seriously. Improbable Island, on the other hand, is thoroughly ridiculous and proud of it.
But what is it like to play? Well, it's kind of like being kidnapped at gunpoint, stripped naked, tossed out of a plane and forced to battle horrendous creatures while the whole ordeal is broadcast on Reality TV. Except that all of this happens to an imaginary character who lives inside your web browser, so you don't have to get all sweaty and eaten. Good times!
Want some screenshots? Okay. When it comes to choosing a mount, you can't get much more inexpensive (and memorable) than Budget Horse or, for those whose tastes are a little more exotic, the Magical Mystery Meat Mount. Both will give you an advantage while travelling between such enchanting places as the Skronky Pot and Cake or Death stand. Sheila's Shack O' Shiny has a wide range of weapons and armour available for purchase; trust me, you'll need all the help you can get while fending off the creatures that lunge at you from the Jungle. Such hideous abberations include Genius Masters of Disguise, bitter memories from your troubled past, God-Awful puns and your own tongue.
Click here to enter The Island!
...still not convinced? Did I mention that Improbable Island contains Evil Midgets? Spiderkitties? Dali the Four-Clawed Lobster?
How about mad scientists? Do you like mad scientists? Or delicious beer? Cigarettes? We've got cigarettes. We've also got genetically-engineered bulldozers, ghosts, six-sided dice that throw sevens, Scientologists, and fetid midget brothels.
Any of those appeal to you?
Oh, I almost forgot - we've got weapons! Lots and lots of weapons! If you like ridiculously over-the-top weaponry, we've got great big guns that fire angry cats. If you're terminally insane, we've also got Chainsaw-Chuks. If you like to defy the laws of physics, we've got a cannon that'll throw a miniature sun at your opponent, complete with gravity well.
We've also got tons of armour, from Hello Kitty pyjamas and bunny slippers to sealed, servo-assisted encounter suits.
Come on, tell me that doesn't sound like good times!
Click here to enter The Island!
...are you still waiting for something? Well, once you've played through as a human, other races open up for you to play with, some of whom completely change the way the game is played. Here are some of them:
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...and there are other races too, that will open up later on. So you can see, Interesting Times are to be had!
Click here to enter The Island!
...what, you want more? Did I tell you it's free? I should probably tell you that it's free.
I also didn't mention that there are competitive and co-operative play options, that you can form clans with fellow contestants, that you can play on a mobile device without too many problems, that there's a thriving community of freaks, weirdos and bored office workers waiting to embrace you.
Nor did I mention that you can have an implant embedded into your skull to give you Special Powers, or that there are currently seven independant cities in which to explore, chat and fight. I should have mentioned that.
If you're just not that into games, you might want to come along and meet the folks who just use the Island to chat with other very strange people such as themselves. Every month, we hold a contest to see who is the best at a particular thing (sometimes that particular thing is "cheating at contests"), and prizes are awarded in-game. Some of these contests involve leaving the comforting glow of your computer monitor and venturing out into the real world! Admittedly, sometimes it's only to gather supplies so that you can dress up like a robot for a cheap laugh.
Surely that's enough to persuade you to Enter The Island?
...okay. Well, Improbable Island runs on a game engine called Legend of the Green Dragon, which is distributed under a Creative Commons license. This means that the game is constantly being added to and expanded upon, with new stuff to find all the time! It also means that if you've played any other games based on this engine, you'll know how to play straight away - but don't go fooling yourself into thinking that Improbable Island is the same as any other LOGD server, oh no!
If you're familiar with LOGD, you'll probably be familiar with the concept of a "Total Translation" or a "Total Conversion." Well, that's what Improbable Island is. A complete translation of the LOGD game system to include all our post-apocalyptic silliness.
What, you're still reading this? Well, this is the end of the page. There are literally many reasons to play Improbable Island, but to tell you the rest would be giving away the surprise.
Join us. You might enjoy it.